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You've spent the whole night flirting with him. He bought you drinks, you laughed at his jokes. You've innocently touched his arm, he's given you a goodnight kiss on the cheek, dangerously close to your lips.
Most important of all, you've exchanged phone numbers and/or email addresses. So where to go next from here?
The beginning of a romance is like a delicate flower. It could make or break the possibility of a relationship. So if you want to know how to get things off the ground, stick with us and we'll make you a love goddess.
It's ok to text/call/email first, but not the second time
Think of it like a game of tennis. You can't play solo – you need a partner to return your balls. So if you've made the first move, you've already signalled interest. Oh, but what if he didn't get my text/email/whatever, I hear you cry. The chances of that are slim to nil and even if that was true, he would have got in touch by now to find out what's up if he was keen. You don't want to appear desperate or clingy. If he hasn't replied by now, then take a deep breath and go out for a walk. He may have by the time you return, and if not, it means this isn't really worth pursuing.
It's nice to have him pay, but not all the time
Don't bludge off the poor man. We all admit we like being treated to a nice dinner out and a few cocktails at a flash bar, but so does he. If you want an equal relationship, then you have to start out on an equal footing. As a rule, it's ok to let him pay for the first date. It's considered somewhat old-fashioned, but in a nice, gentlemanly way. But don't do anything you're not comfortable with. If you'd rather go dutch, then by all means, split the bill. And if you go out for drinks afterwards, take turns paying for rounds. It also ensures you don't get too drunk and lose all your common sense!
Long distance, or not? You get the sense that he's a great guy, but he lives in…another town, country or a two-hour drive away. This becomes a game of logistics, with the most important question being inevitably, whether you like him well enough or not. Long-distance relationships are hard even when you're already a couple. But trying to get to know someone long-distance? Multiply that by at least a hundred. The only exception is if he's actually coming or moving back in a couple of months time, and even then, proceed with caution. It's much better to find someone closer to play with.
He's made a huge gaffe…now what? Oops, he talked about his ex a bit too much, had a few too many drinks on the first date, or didn't reply to your text for a week. There are mistakes, then there are MISTAKES. If he spouted off too much about previous relationships, apart from being a huge turn-off, it could mean he's not over them. You don't want to be the rebound girl. It could also mean he's nervous or just someone who likes talking a lot, but although first impressions are shallow, it's all you have to go by. Trust your gut.
As for someone who drinks to excess on the first date – sure, he could be nervous, but those are the signs of a lush. If he needs alcohol to deal with awkward social situations, he'll also need those Steinlagers when dealing with the rest of life's problems.