Could Your Man Be Cheating?

“Honey, I’m working late tonight”
Perhaps the most common and most-overlooked excuse. While it’s true that our work days are getting longer, does he really need to work late every night? And have out-of-town business conferences every second weekend? And how about all those Thursday nights when he goes bowling with “the boys”? While there’s a fine line between valid suspicion and paranoia, this one’s really a no-brainer. Trust what your gut tells you. If his behaviour is out-of-character, and he hasn’t changed jobs recently, then you know what he’s doing on all those late nights.

 

Notice that the physical side of your relationship is dwindling? We don’t just mean sex, because we all know every couple has their ups and downs, but other forms of touching – like kissing, holding hands, cuddling or even just putting his arm around you at the movies. When you try to initiate it, he brushes you aside or tells you he’s too tired. Some people find it hard to be physically intimate with two people at the same time. He could be feeling guilty.

 

It used to be that he adored everything you did – from the way you ate an apple to what you looked like first thing in the morning. Now all those things irritate him, and then some. It seems that lately you can’t get anything right. He has a problem with everything you do, and instead of letting arguments blow over, he lets it escalate to the point where you two don’t talk to each other. This could be his way of walling off his emotions and protecting himself.

 

You used to know every single person he works or socialises with by name. But at a recent party, one of his drunk mates starts ribbing him about “Shelley from accounts” who has a crush on him. Watch very closely for his reaction. If he laughs it off and makes some off-colour jokes in return, then it could all be innocent. But if he blushes, goes very quiet or gets angry, then Shelley may not be doing just accounts. She could be doing him.

 

…Around the house, in his jacket pocket, on his phone, in his emails. This is the work of a coward, who can’t bear to confess that he’s been cheating on you – so he tries to do it the sneak’s way, by leaving blatant clues so you find out without him having to tell. The best way to do at this stage is to cut your losses and confront him. If it has come to the point where he wants you to find out, then the axe is going to fall either way. You can decide whether to save yourself some heartache and break up with him, or see it through to the bitter, bitter end.