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We’ve all been there – it could be the moment after a traumatising breakup, when you’re still crying into your wine glass or agonising to a trusted friend over whether or not to give some guy a second chance...
 I'm talking about that dreaded moment when they come out with the pearlers: “Well, my mother always says…blah, blah, blah…”
It could even be on your regular weekly call to your mum, nana, other female relative or best friend when they’ll spout some well-meaning advice, usually derived from old wives’ tales.
We all know, of course, that mums and grandmothers grew up in a different era, but with so many self-help books like The Rules and He’s Not That Into You advocating a return to 1950’s style dating (i.e. waiting for the men to chase you), we attempt to debunk some of the most ridiculous myths.  “It’s just as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor man”
Just reverse the sentence and it’ll read – “it’s just as easy to love a poor man as it is a rich man”. You can choose who you love to a certain extent, but even scientists haven’t been able to come up with a definite answer to explain away attraction. And choosing someone to love based on how much money they have in the bank is as cold and callous as a man choosing to love you because of your hot legs…in other words, it’s
all superficial with no heart.
You can also be sure of one thing – if you marry a rich man expecting an easy life, it’s true that you may never have to work again, but you’ll pay in other ways and really, is it any different than selling yourself?
 “Never let him see you without makeup”
The amount of times I’ve heard this is astonishing – I’ve even known girls to hassle each other, advising their friends to wear just a smidgen of lipstick and mascara before they hit the shops. Let’s be clear on this, there’s nothing wrong with wearing makeup, just as there’s nothing wrong to go without. And lumping all men into the same category is stupid – for every guy that likes the look of you with makeup, there’s one who prefers you au naturelle.
Like another famous saying: there’s someone for everyone, even the girl who loathes foundation. Your mission is to find the boy who likes you for you, and can look beyond a pretty face and false eyelashes.
 “Watch your weight, dear. Men don’t like women who eat too much”
Every time someone says something similar to the above, it just makes me smother more tomato sauce on my hot chips and eat it with a grin. Real men prefer a woman who’s herself and doesn’t peck at her tofu salad like a bird, while staring longingly at his steak and roast potatoes while salivating like a famine victim.
While we don’t advocate that you drown your sorrows in family-size packs of Twisties, we also don’t advise you to turn into one of those whiny, self-obsessed girls who wail that they can’t eat a mince pie every once in a while, because they’ll get “so fat”. The funny thing is, those are usually also the women who could stand to eat a few hearty meals before the wind blows them away. Life’s too short, eat your steak.  “He won’t buy the milk if he’s getting the cow for free”
Oh really? This saying really only works if you’re prepared to think of yourself as a cow. It’s usually given by older female relatives who pointedly asks every time you go to family gatherings if he’s proposed yet, followed by a “poor you” look if you say he hasn’t. Well, we can tell you that you can’t nag someone into marrying you, and you sure don’t want to.
While weddings are lovely and a time of joy and celebration for two people who love each other, it’s nothing more than a commitment ceremony. And in these times, fewer and fewer people feel the need to tie the knot when you know you get the same rights as a de facto couple. Let’s face it – it’s easy to get a divorce and if he’s the sort to subscribe to the above view, he’s not the kind of man you want to be tied to, either for life or till you can get a good lawyer.
Sarah Lane
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