Five Reasons You Might Cheat...

The worse thing by far though, are the unseen dangers lurking around the corner. And by that we mean the temptation to cheat on your partner. It’s true what they say about feast and famine. When you’re single, it’s often a desert without a single oasis in sight, but when you’re taken…it seems that ex-boyfriends, crushes and cute new boys suddenly crawl out of the woodwork in hordes. So what’s a girl to do? And what are the red flags that you need to watch out for?

You’re feeling a bit bored

It’s been months since you got any flowers (if he ever gave you any to start with), and the nightly phone calls just to say “I love you” have tapered off. You guys used to go out and party together in the weekends but suddenly Saturday night has become rugby night, and you find yourself half-heartedly donning your jeans and rugby jersey for another evening at the pub with his sports mad mates. Where did all that excitement go?
 

Fix it: If the boredom has just started creeping in the past couple of months, a good talk with him is in order. Boys need to be told what to do – so it’s best if you prepare a list of things you would like to discuss. But if you’ve been feeling that way for more than six months, then it might be time to evaluate whether or not the spark can still be salvaged.

 

Your boy’s been a bit grumpy lately and the most you can get out of him are one-word answers or grunts while he’s coma-ed out in front of the TV. But you’re just discovering that your new friend Geoff from the art department at work is soooo much fun to be around. You finish each other’s jokes, go out for coffee together and basically do everything but clinch the deal. Plus, there’s all the borderline flirty emails and texts you’ve been exchanging…

Fix it: Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot, and you’ll see how hurtful this type of “emotional cheating” is for your partner. Many people have said they would be more inclined to forgive a one-off shag than a months-long emotional affair, so you are treading dangerous waters. Go cold turkey, and make sure you’re not alone with him for a good long time…at least until the attraction wears off. Or if Geoff is truly great and you think things with your man is unfixable…well, you know the decent thing to do.

 

This one’s a no-brainer – nobody likes feeling as if all their efforts go un-noticed. If your boy doesn’t even say “please” or “thank you” anymore, then the least he can be accused of is bad manners. And the most would be he’s a sexist prat. Both of those are major downfalls, one moreso than the other.

Fix it: Make him help you out. Or point out to him the moment it happens that he’s not appreciating you. If he still doesn’t improve after a few weeks, then it’s highly likely that he grew up in a household where he was spoiled by women and expect them to be at his beck and call. Do you want to be that woman?

 

But you’re too much of a coward to do it directly – so you start leaving your phone, complete with dodgy texts and pictures from a rowdy night out where he’s likely to find them. It’s dirty politics, and you probably already realise it on some level. The excuse that you’ve had it done to you before, or it’s because all men are shite, just won’t cut it either. Your partner is not responsible for every single hurt that has been inflicted on you before in previous relationships, and should be treated with the same respect you’d give any other human being.

Fix it: Come clean immediately, if only for the good karma. There must be some part of you that realises no matter how much he deserves this kind of behaviour, you’ll regret it someday in hindsight. And relationships that are started based on lies and sneaking around never, ever work out long-term.

 

So you reckon the best way to go about it is to flirt with every single cute guy you come across while you’re out with your partner, or tell him stories about all the men you could’ve had or who wants you. Yawn. Chances are he can see right through you, and if he can’t and is actually jealous, you are setting a very unhealthy basis for your relationship.

Fix it: There’s better ways to inject excitement into your love life than creating unnecessary drama and fighting. How about spending the time getting to know each other better and actually building a life together?