When the Past Creeps Up On Your Relationship

We all know we shouldn’t ask, but sometimes you just can’t help it! It’s human nature to be curious, and we’re also naturally competitive - we want to compare ourselves to the others, no matter how much it hurts it us. We can drive ourselves crazy trying to figure all of this out, and in the process it can ruin relationships. The same goes with guys too - they can be just as nosey and inquisitive as we are when it comes to the past. So what do you do when his or your sexual history creeps up and interferes in your relationship? We take a look…

 

You go there, you know you shouldn’t, but you do it anyway. If you’ve asked him how many people he’s slept with or how many times he’s fallen in love - you’re just asking for trouble! Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers too! But if you do, or if he does, here’s how you can deal with it.

 

You asked and he told ya, and now you don’t like the answer! Well you need to suck it up and realise that you opened this can of worms. If you begin to feel insecure, make sure you talk with him about your concerns – communication is the biggest thing here. Don’t make him feel like a dirty player, you weren’t with him (and maybe didn’t even know him!) when he slept with these other people, so you really need to get over it. Just make sure he knows that you don’t want him playing around while you’re together, and leave it at that!

 

You can’t expect your man to have never fallen in love with anyone else before you, though no one wants to think of their current flame head over heels for someone else. Just think about yourself – you’ve been attracted to other people too, but the main thing here is that you’re no longer with them. It’s just the same for him, he may have loved someone else, but now he’s with you and that’s because he’s not in love with her anymore.

If you’re worried that he might still have strong feelings for his ex, have a chat with him. If he had something really special with her it’s likely that there will always be a bond there, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s still in love with her. There’s a big difference between being in love with someone and loving them. If he still cares about her, try and be understanding, though if his feelings go deeper, don’t hesitate to hit up about it. Don’t settle for second best!

 

If he is silly enough to ask about your history, the best thing is to squash the question flat. Though honesty is the best policy he really shouldn’t be asking! Ask him why, and then convince him that there really is no reason for him to ask, unless you’re sure he can handle the truth. However if you’ve already gone and given him an answer, here’s how you can deal with it…

Tell him it’s not fair for him to judge you, just as it wouldn’t be fair for you to judge him. If he can’t get over the fact that you’re human, and have been with other people, then he’s really not worth your time!

 

Don’t worry! Just like there’s nothing wrong with being experienced, there’s nothing wrong with not. Be proud of who you are, obviously he loves you just as you are, otherwise he wouldn’t be with you!

 

He needs to get over it. You’ve been there before, but obviously it wasn’t meant to be, otherwise you’d still be with your ex. Communicate with him and make sure that he knows how you feel, otherwise if he can’t get over it, tell him to move on and good luck with finding anyone who doesn’t have a relationship history!