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It’s what we all want, right? That person to connect with, who will fill your life with love and romance, complete you in every way. The one who will marry you and give you babies. The human being you will die beside, having lived an illustrious life steeped in experiences shared.
It sometimes seems all we’re looking for is this elusive one person to fulfil our needs, but who is this ‘one’? And is there really just one?
Fate People all over the world are hooking up right now. They are meeting in bars, parks, parties and classrooms. They are chatting each other up, eyeing each other up, running their hands over each other, doing all sorts of unspeakable things. It pays not to think too much about it, but my point is this: If we are all supposed to find ‘the one’, how do things like overseas travel come into it?
If your ‘one’ is not from your hometown, which is likely, seeing as there is a whole wide world out there, then suppose we didn’t travel…Would our ‘one’ travel to us? How much does fate come in to distinguishing who ‘the one’ for us is? Suppose a flight is booked out, so you catch the next one. What if your first choice had your ‘one’ on it?
So, you say, it’s fate. That one wasn’t ‘the one’. Well, how come so many people end up with those who were brought up, and still live in, the same town as they do? Is it because they share experiences? Is this what makes someone ‘the one’? Is it just luck that means they don’t have to travel across the world to find true love? Fate is a sticky business, but the concept of ‘the one’ relies on it.
The Two Which brings me to this completely unromantic idea. What if there isn’t just one? What if there are several, maybe even hundreds of people who would suit us down to the ground? They may be scattered all over the earth waiting (albeit unconsciously) for us to appear. Perhaps this is why sometimes you find someone who you are sure is the right one, but they are attached. They have found another ‘one’. Sometimes you will seem more appealing than their existing one – and they might decide to be with you – but that doesn’t mean this other person wasn’t also ‘one’. Basically, it comes down to statistics. Scientifically, the human race is supposed to grow. If we were meant to wait for just one, the likelihood of us ever finding them would be pretty miniscule. Widen your scope. The best way to avoid being devastated by heartbreak is not to avoid love, but to avoid thinking anyone is the be all and end all.
Getting Past Grief When your ‘one’ leaves you, it is like he has died. If he has died, it is even worse. Most of us cannot imagine how terrible this would be, especially after years of marriage. Perhaps believing in ‘the one’ just sets us up for heartbreak. Maybe one way to get past this heartbreak would be to assume there is more than one. But this leads me to the next point…
Faith Saying all this, we have to believe in something, and if it’s going to be anything, it might as well be love. Believing completely in the love of another person, in that person being the one for you, can make you feel as if you have been lead into the right place by some mystical control, as if fate has done the right thing by you. When you are in love, nothing seems impossible. Cheesy, I know, but it’s true.
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Fate
So, you say, it’s fate. That one wasn’t ‘the one’. Well, how come so many people end up with those who were brought up, and still live in, the same town as they do? Is it because they share experiences? Is this what makes someone ‘the one’? Is it just luck that means they don’t have to travel across the world to find true love? Fate is a sticky business, but the concept of ‘the one’ relies on it.
Faith