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Mr Right or Mr Right for Now?
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Us humans are creatures of habit. We have body clocks that wake u s up in the weekend even when we don’t have to get up.
A lot of us gravitate towards people we know well, rather than trying to make new friends. Some of us are even going out with people we don’t like that much anymore. Why? Because we’ve become accustomed to having them around.
So how do you know if you are with Mr Right or if you are just sticking with Mr Right for Now, out of habit? Sit back and do a little bit of visualisation…Imagine these five situations and see what comes to mind:
1.) Your future house. What is it like? Any feelings associated with it.
2.) Your future children. What do they look like? Any feelings associated with them.
3.) Walking in the park and seeing an old couple walking together – imagine your reaction, who you are with, what you are doing in the park.
4.) Imagine a point of conflict with your boyfriend. What is it about? Is it serious or minor? What happens?
5.) Your boyfriend asks you a favour. What is it? Do you do it? Do you hesitate first?
1.) Your future house
 If he is Mr Right: When you think of your future home, it is not the house itself you imagine, but you and he in it. You picture the things you will do in that house. You imagine moving in and how excited you will be together. You imagine sitting on the deck, sipping wine, making coffee on a Saturday morning…
If he isn’t Mr Right: When you imagine your future house, your thoughts are clouded. You can imagine an impression of a house, but there are no emotions attached to the images in your mind. Or you might imagine the house as a place where
you will throw parties and be social. If he isn’t in your house,
it could be he is just Mr Right for Now.
2.) Your future children
If he is Mr Right: When you think of your children, you see little hims wandering around. You imagine they will have his gorgeous hair or his cheeky smile.
If he isn’t Mr Right (or if you are really self-centred): You probably won’t be able to think of your future kids as being anything other than little girls who look like you did when you were a child.
3.) Seeing an old couple
If he is Mr Right: When you see old people walking hand-in-hand in the park, you look at your boyfriend and smile. You hope when you are their age you will still be walking together too.
If he isn’t Mr Right: You don’t walk in the park with him. Or if you do, when you see old people walking, you don’t think of your relationship and its future at all.
4.) Conflict
 If he is Mr Right: You argue sometimes and speak harshly with each other, but always make up and apologise fairly quickly. You can’t stand it when things are going badly.
If he isn’t Mr Right: You either don’t fight – ever – or you fight and stay fighting for days on end. You move out, or he does. You move back in, or he does. You hit each other and call each other names. Basically, if you can treat each other this terribly, you either have deep-seated personal issues, or you are really not meant to be together.
5.) Favours
 If he is Mr Right: You do anything for each other. If he needs water in the middle of the night, you will get it for him – and he will do the same for you. If you need a ride home from a party, you know he will come and get you (if he isn’t at the same party) and he won’t mind (much) or hesitate to say yes when you call.
If he isn’t Mr Right: You talk about each other to your friends in a negative fashion. Your friends wonder why you are together – and they probably tell you this. If he isn’t Mr Right, you wouldn’t dream of going out of your way for him.
But wait! Before you go breaking up with your long-term Not Quite Mr Right, consider this: Does it really matter? To some of you it may seem like the end of the world to not be with your Forever, but I am sure there are a few of you for whom this article made you realise – sure, he’s not right, but we do have a lot of fun.
Unless you want to branch out and meet new people, I wouldn’t write off a long-term relationship just because it isn’t going anywhere fast. Just make sure you’re not staying together out of fear or comfort. And make sure you both know where it’s heading.
Camille
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