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Ever heard the saying no one will love you until you love yourself?
The Law of Attraction is based around the theory that you attract what you put out and, as clichéd as it sounds, it really is true. If you’re insecure, have low self-esteem and don’t believe you’re worthy of love then you’re only going to end up with a string of losers… harsh, but true.
But while it may be easy to identify a pattern in your behaviour - dating a series of inter-changeable boys all of whom stamp over your heart, cheat on you or dump you because they can’t take your clingness is a clue - figuring out what to do about it is a much harder road.
If only there was a magic wand you could wave to transform into the type of sassy, confident girl who attracts the kind of guy everyone wants. Of course, it’s not that easy. Changing your attitude can be a hard and rocky path, but luckily we have some tips to get you started… Step One: Analyse Your Life Go through each of your past relationships and work out what went wrong. What was the chain of events that led to the break-up? Who instigated it? What role did the other person have in it happening? It’s hard, but try and be as impartial as you possibly can and really think about the dynamics of the relationships. You can’t go forward until you work out what’s been tripping you up in your past.
Step Two: What Do I Want? Now for something a bit more fun. Grab a stack of magazines and some paper and sit down to work out what you really want in a partner. Create a collage of words and imagery to represent the sort of man you want in your life. Don’t feel silly about being specific - if your dream guy is a six foot tall Italian write it down! Just don’t take your specifications too literally - you don’t want to miss out on your slightly shorter, blonde soul mate. However, obviously it’s going to be the personality attributes, life goals and values of this partner that are most key.
Step Three: What’s Holding Me Back? What stops you from approaching guys? Why do you think you haven’t been on a date for the past two years? Consider the way you act, carry yourself and the air you give off to other people. Think about your routine - if your nights are spent curled up with your cat watching re-runs of reality shows there’s a good reason you haven’t met Mr Fantastic. Unless he comes to repair the TV your paths aren’t going to cross! Decide what you can change to both put you in the path of other people and make you more attractive to them (hint: it’s not about trawling bars and undergoing a radical change of hair do, it’s about subtle inner changes to the way you think, act and socialise!). Step Four: Accentuate the Positive In our recent article on the power of positive thinking we talked about the part your attitude plays in where you get in life. Positive people attract positive things, so work on improving your general outlook on life. Be open to good things happening to you, in fact expect that they will, and always see the best in people. This will make you a much more attractive person than someone who just expects all guys to be cheating losers.
Step Five: I Am Seriously Smokin’ Hot Go on… just say it aloud to yourself. Feel a bit stupid? Find it hard to believe? Repeat it every morning to your reflection in the mirror until you start to believe it. Don’t worry you don’t have to be smokin’ hot – maybe you’re a Super Sexy Minx or a just simply a Gorgeous Girl. Wearing new jeans? Tell your reflection how good they look. Work on changing your attitude to focus on the many good things you offer the world instead of running yourself down all the time with what you perceive to be your negatives. Chances are the “flaws” you obsess about aren’t visible to any one else. The stronger your sense of self-worth, the less likely you are to put up with disrespectful behaviour in a relationship.
Step Six: Ask for Confirmation Still struggling to believe you’re worth it? Give your ego a boost by asking some of the people closest to you to write down what they think are your five best points. While you probably won’t believe anything your mum has to say on the subject, hearing what your friends and the rest of your family think is guaranteed to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Tape their thoughts to your front door so you see them whenever you step outside or keep them in your wallet so they’re always there when you’re feeling a bit negative.
These six steps should get you started on the path to better self-esteem and an improved outlook on life, which in turn should open you up to a world of positive opportunities. So get yourself out of that relationship rut and harness the law of attraction.