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My, how the tables can turn! It used to be that girls were hanging out for the time when they would get hitched, get out of their parents homes and raise families.
They were keeping hope chests filled with embroidery and knitting, plates and tea cosies, waiting for the moment when they would be able to break out their doilies and make house. Well, at least that’s how the past has been painted.
These days, it’s really not that hard for the average girl to leave home and start paying rent somewhere, and a lot of us are shacking up with our guys before marriage is even mentioned. So where do babies fit in?
That’s a good question, and one that a lot of guys are asking. Got a clucky boyfriend? Here are a few tips for setting him straight, at least for the meantime.
Consider this… First, think about it, properly. Why is it that you don’t want a child? Is it him? Is it your job? Do you still feel like a kid yourself? It is important to know yourself well. It could be that your boyfriend is the problem - deep down you don’t feel confident that he can provide. It sounds like an outdated concept, but if you have a baby you still have to be a mother, which (one would hope) means taking some time off work.
Imagine yourself with a pregnant belly or with a small baby and see if you can grasp what it is that doesn’t feel right. If you would miss the partying, or miss the independence of being able to do what you like, then you are probably doing the right thing by waiting. If the thought of doing something wrong, as far as taking care of it is concerned, but you would really like to be a mum - it could be that you just need to let your instincts take flight. This is a big decision though. Make plans So back to your boyfriend. He’s dropping hints all over the place. He melts into the footpath outside the daycare centre and stares wistfully at those dads with their sons at soccer practice down the road. Is it starting to get to you, but you just can’t do it - yet? It would help if you made some plans.
Have a talk with him about what he wants from life, in the way of a family. Try to decide on a rational timeframe when you would be prepared to get serious and start reproducing. Let’s say you decide on 30. Make concrete plans to start trying for a baby when you are 29. Perhaps start saving at 28. It’s up to the two of you, but don’t ignore his hunger for becoming a daddy. It could be the end of you.
Dedication If it means that much to him, you might resolve to give it a go, eventually. But make sure he knows the reality of it. To do this, you guys might need to do some babysitting together. Encourage him to hold his baby cousin next time you have a family dinner. Volunteer your services to your mama friend. Do it together - because you never know, you might find that you two really work as parents.
The other side of this is that he might realise how cool his freedom is, and join you on the baby-haters side. When this happens, I’m sure the pair of you can find a nice bottle of wine (or vodka) to conquer in celebration. Be honest While making plans that keep babies well in the future might work for some, I know there are a few of you out there who just don’t want a child. Fair enough! But you want to hold on to him? If your love for your boyfriend is strong, but your motherly instincts aren’t (or at least not yet), then you need to be honest with him.
Just like you wouldn't want to be strung along by some guy who didn't want babies when you did, it's not fair to deny him his chance to be a dad if you know you'll never come around to the idea of kids. Of course if you think there's a chance you might change your mind, tell him, but don't just say what he wants to hear out of fear of losing him.
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time when they would get hitched, get out of their parents homes and raise families. 
Consider this…
Dedication