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There are plenty of you out there who don’t  even have to think about the question in this headline: It’s ‘no’, with a capital N.
However, there are also a lot of you reading this article because the question above echoes your inner thoughts. Perhaps you have been with your partner a while or are even married to him. Maybe you are heading towards your 30s or are in the middle of them now. For some, it could be that feeling of cluckiness has reached a new level.
There are many facets to parenting and before you embark upon the mothership, you should become aware of them, no matter what your age. How strong is your relationship?
As mum and dad, you will provide the foundations for the life of your future child. While a lot of people come away from split families relatively unharmed, a great number will admit that their parent’s divorce affected them in an adverse way. Almost all will say that had their parents been in a loving and caring relationship -together - their childhood would have been happier. Ideally, you want your child to grow up with both a mother and a father in the same house, without a great deal of conflict. Statistics prove that one in three relationships will split up before the child’s third birthday. Apart from the affect this will have on your little one, you also have yourself to think of. Most children will spend the majority of their lives with their mothers after a break-up. This means a lot of work for you, alone. It may also be difficult to find love again when your time is scarce and you come as part of a set. Can you afford it? You don’t have to be rich, but you do have to be ready to sacrifice. A sensible couple will save before having a child, so that they have a little money to fall back on when times are hard. You should seriously think about how much money you are making and how you can stretch this to pay for a baby’s necessities. You will need to acknowledge the fact that one of you will be at home for at least a few months, but counteracting this is the lack of money you will spend on things like alcohol and dinners out (hopefully!).
Make a hypothetical budget now - research the costs of an extra mouth, however small it may be. Saying this, however, you shouldn’t let money put you off having a child if you are ready. If everything else fits, but you know it’s going to be hard financially then you just have to want it enough to make it work. Not every child who grows up in a poor family has a story reminiscent of Angela’s Ashes. You can make baby food instead of buying it, use cloth nappies instead of disposable, stop buying yourself treats from the supermarket… It’s all about the sacrifice - if you’re williing to make it, then you will make it happen. Can your social calendar wait?
There is no getting around the fact that a baby will put your social life on hold. You will be able to catch up with friends or go to restaurants, but it’s going to be hard. Really hard. And chances are, you will be home by nine (if not earlier!). Once again, if you are willing to forgo this for the sake of a little fledglng family, then that is great. Just remember that you may spend Saturday night up to the elbows in pooey nappies. You have to take the good with the bad. Are you healthy?
There are several reasons to ask this question. To carry a child for nine months you have to be fit and eating right. The child will be unhealthy if you are - and vice versa. Put simply, if you can’t look after yourself, you can’t be expected to look after someone else. You must be willing to give up alcohol, drugs and smoking. You must also be willing to exercise gently and attend ante natal classes. On the flip side, you need to be prepared to gain weight. It is a natural response from your body, which wants you to be strong enough to carry around this baby. If you think you are too proud to get a little chubby with your baby then you might not be ready.  How bad do you want this? And why?
This is the squillion dollar question - and one that envelops all of the above. If you want a baby so badly - and for the right reasons, then everything should go just fine.
Good reasons are to extend your family with your partner, to experience and feel motherhood, to nurture or to give someone your love. Bad reasons are to keep your partner, to get money from the government, to have someone love you or to have people envy you. So if you are ready in every way, it could be time to start planning that baby for 2008. Just don’t rush into anything too soon - and make sure your partner is ready too! Good luck! Camille Butler
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