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 Abstinence. What does this word bring to mind? Reclusive monks hiding away in temples? Pious nuns? American teenagers with special rings?
Sure, but what if I said the ‘A’ word could actually help your relationship? Yep, that’s right, not doing it could actually make you and your partner happier – and better in bed!
The idea of having a Sex Detox is being branded as a way of helping long term couples reconnect with the true depths of their relationships. By holding off having sex for, say, a month, you may realise just how necessary – or not – the act of lovemaking is to your partnership, and you may discover how strong you can be without it.  Abstaining If this is something you want to try, your partner will probably take some convincing. But you don’t necessarily have to both agree to the detox – it’s okay to put your foot down if you feel it is worth attempting, and well, he won’t have much choice! Assuming you live together, some precautions may need to be taken. You might want to hide your sexy lingerie away to prevent slip-ups, or start wearing pjs to bed. In this sense, abstinence means abstaining from getting each other off in any shape or form. Whether you are allowed to masturbate is up to you – but to get the best results it would probably be good to hold off on all activity.  Wanting what you can’t getPart of the reason why the Sex Detox works is due to human behaviour – if a rule exists, we crave to break it. If there is something on the other side of the fence – we want it! So for the first few days/ weeks/ hours you may find yourself thinking that you will never make it through – but persevere! Your body is trying to trick you. Remember before you were in this relationship? You may not have had sex for weeks - and not thought much of it. Just because he’s next to you in bed every night doesn’t mean you can’t just talk. Right? Hmm… What to expect Once you are past the yearning stage (if indeed you do get past it without slipping up), you may find yourselves feeling quite relaxed. You may learn new ways to be together than aren’t physical, like lying next to each other and reading at night, instead of getting into the nooky. You might forget about Thursday night wine-induced shagging, or quickie morning sessions – and just learn to be together platonically.  Alternatively, you might find you never get past wanting sex – and without it, you don’t have much. In this case, the Sex Detox isn’t necessarily showing the pair of you aren’t right for one another, but perhaps you have a bit to learn about each other if you are to continue your relationship into your mature years. It’s pretty much a fact that people have less sex when they have children – and you don’t want to find yourself at this stage with nothing to talk about. Use the Sex Detox as a chance to talk. Find out what lies beyond your partner’s beautiful eyes. Falling off the wagon So you did it, big deal! The best thing about the Sex Detox is cheating – and having great sex because of the ‘naughty’ factor. Most couples will probably cheat on the Detox – but this is all part of it. By doing it when you’re not supposed to, you may find yourself reliving the way you used to do it when you guys were a fresh, new, desperate-for-each-other couple. Knowing you’ve still got it will liven up your love life. What does it tell me?  All in all, the Sex Detox should remind you why you are with your partner, be it the desperate sex sessions it induces or the long, intriguing conversations you have when your minds are focussed on more intellectual matters. Hopefully, the Sex Detox will waken you to your real needs and wants within the relationship. It is a good idea to keep a diary for the period of the Sex Detox – so that you can keep track of your changing moods and feelings, and record your thoughts about your partner and your sex life. Who knows, a month without doing it could change your life! Camille
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