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You think  you know him, but years after you have accepted a diamond ring from your man, the very inconvenient truth comes out!
Whether it be a niggly thing, like his habit of picking his earwax, or something major like an STD that has been harbouring itself since his high school years, there are definitely a few things you should find out before you walk down the aisle.
Here they are – the top ten things you should know about your guy before you commit to marriage...  1: His view on marriageThis may sound obvious – but be sure that you are clear. There are many horror stories out there about perfectly normal and sweet men who suddenly regress after the honeymoon. Some guys have a repressed and disturbing image of marriage – which may often derive from their upbringing. When they are married, they suppose it is OK to start treating their wife like their mother, ordering her around and generally being a slob. Avoid this by getting it straight – make sure your images of married life are aligned before you move into matrimony. 2: His view on kids Again, I’m sure you’ve discussed it if you are at this point in your relationship – but have you gotten down to the nitty gritty? How does he think children should be disciplined? The belt or the naughty step? What about educated? Is he thinking private or public school? These issues can be the break of a great marriage – so just make sure they’re resolved before you begin making foundations for your family. 3: His goals What does he want from life? Where does he see himself in ten, or twenty years? The answer could surprise you, even if you know him well. Sometimes things are just assumed – like he might expect to travel, while you are picturing home making. Talk it out to be sure. 4: What he’s like when he’s drunk/ in an altered state To some this may not apply – but it is important to know what kind of drunk your man is, especially if you often party separately or have not lived together. You wouldn’t want to get married, only to find you have a drunk on your hands every Saturday night, passed out on the doorstep with puke in his hair. You also don’t want to end up with someone who becomes abusive or reckless when they are drunk. If this is a question that relates to you, perhaps ask his mates about his weekend behaviour – or go out drinking with him and see for yourself. 5: His clean bill of sexual health There is nothing more sickening than finding out you have married a man who has been carrying around an STD from an ex girlfriend. You should really have asked him to take a test before you slept with him the first time – but if you didn’t, or your honeymoon will be your first time, then it is not unreasonable to send him for a checkup.
6: His ‘number’ While not essential, the answer to this sticky question will ward off the possibility of a terrible realisation down the line. If you have only slept with a handful of people – and suddenly find out that he was the Univeristy tramp down in Otago – chances are it will be the cause of a fight. We don’t like fights. Avoid them at all costs. 7: His abilities in the kitchen This is purely a selfish one. The person you marry should, at the very, very least have the skills to make you scrambled eggs on a Saturday morning. He should know a lot more than that, but I’m being lenient. Make sure you teach him as you go as well, you don’t become his mother! A more equal footing in the kitchen department will definitley help in keeping things equal in the relationship sector.
8: His best matesKnow them, because they will be around - for life. If you can’t like them, you should try to at least make peace with his friends before you marry him. And if you haven’t met them, you should ask to before you commit. You don’t want to find yourself in a ‘You, Me and Dupree’ situation after marriage – stuck with an annoying best mate who you can’t shake. Face it – marry him, you marry them. So get to know them, and do it now.
9: His habits This may seem petty, but irritation can be the cause of many a bust-up. Does he pick his nose? Does he always leave the toilet seat up? Does he scratch himself in public, or say ‘check it out!’ every time he sees a pretty girl? I’m not going to say you can change these habits – just be sure that you can live with them if they don’t die off naturally. 10: That he loves you Awwww! But seriously – only marry him if you’re sure. Good luck! Camille Butler
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